paper clouds and knitted grass

2011-06-13T19:58:00.001+01:00

no inspiration but just been on bbc introducing if you want to check us out

if you like please do share amongst yourselves it would mean a lot to me

hope your well

xxxx

2011-06-03T07:17:00.000+01:00

hello,

this is my new band

walter bottle

just a rough video filmed in a bedroom

please if you like us find us at

Walter Bottle

have a lovely day

2011-05-20T23:48:00.000+01:00

with these misty mornings comes the light of the sun

gazing down at me with those hopeful eyes

as the grass swallows my courage and pride

my fingers clench deep into the dark warm soil

but my soul emerges, fighting free like a burning fire

it lifts me high

to clamber back onto my feet once again

my legs star running

running away from this fate you handed me

to freedom and new life

full of beauty and blue skies

where the sun gazes upon me with love

throughout

2011-05-17T01:27:00.000+01:00

wish i'd never met those eyes

that follow me through my dreams at night

wish i'd never felt that soft skin

that delusion led me to hold onto so tight

wish i'd never met you

and thought you

were something special

that we

were

so alone...

2011-04-30T17:01:00.001+01:00

every ray of light

every touch of warmth

every string of hope

stolen by that one spoken word

these tears will leave

but slowly they fall

everlasting

taking with them

all feeling of life

this smile

hibernates for a frozen summer

whilst these eyes plead

for those days

tinted with love for all

the numbness is instilled

nothing

2011-03-17T00:14:00.001Z

waiting

for those soft soles to trace across the worn down floor

a soft gaze as you wipe away those tears

that fall, so slow

graceful

a veil to stained cheeks

waiting

please my dear don't wait

don't hold those fairytales deep into that scarred heart

those blackened clouds blanket over blue skies

no longer will those feet walk their path

leave just a heartbeat

stealing fireflies in a broken soul

waiting

don't wait

don't hold that sweet breath

let go

let go of me

2011-03-11T01:14:00.002Z

my heart you crush like a butterfly between your palms

break it down into beautiful colours across your skin

smooth it down into every cell

leaving no trace for me to hold on to

my chest

like a weight sown up inside

i try

to breathe

but nothing

tears they roll down my cold

unloved cheeks

these eyes hold no soul

you have stripped me down

to this bare skeleton

and love

impossible

1, 2

2010-09-08T00:12:00.000+01:00

a heart set free

a wave of new life laps in with each breath

feel the warmth rush in

dancing through every blood vessel

2010-09-06T00:15:00.000+01:00

I don't know just what I'll do
Everytime you walk into the room
Oh my head is spinning around
And I can't see clearly right now

I don't know if I'll survive,
In this magical land behind your eyes.
And there's all these funny little men,
There all asking me to dance and sing.

Red and yellow, pink and green, purple and orange and blue.
Are all of the colours I see my love, everytime I see you.

I'm wasted
I'm so wasted on you

[Angus & Julia Stone, but these words sing far too deep into my heart for me not to place them here]

2010-09-03T23:12:00.001+01:00

blue frosted eyes glare back into themselves

one rust stained mirror captures everything
too beautifully

cold greying fingers reach out

yet that cold harsh wind catches them
too fast

and they retreat

2010-09-02T00:33:00.004+01:00

not too sure whats going on right now
i can't seem to write anything
i think i need to stop
and sort of this messy head of mine

2010-08-29T15:47:00.002+01:00

one of the hardest challenges in life:

to write the words of how it really feels

2010-08-26T23:48:00.000+01:00

a spinning record hums absorbed in its own sweet lullaby

in the corner of this room the light cascades through the veil placed across the peeling window frame

and there she stands

her bare soles placed so delicately on the wooden floors

long golden wisps of hair fall from her crown down to her soft waist

pale arms stretch up to the heavens with a shadow outlining every quivering muscle

slowly she spins, gracefully shifting her weight from one foot to another

her wrists interweaving, waltzing with one another

the sun catches the cotton dress and her elegant silhouette shines through

i watch a face so peaceful, so distant, and so happy

if i could be like her a cloud in the blue skies

floating, drifting, shifting from one shape to the next

but it cannot be

thus i sit here

a heap on this dirt covered floor

2010-08-24T11:59:00.004+01:00

v = vegan

after indulging in cheese dripped pizza's and icecreams piled high in the colours of the rainbow

(yes i have just stepped off the plane from wonderful italy)

i decided a change was calling

and here i am
back in england
and a vegan lifestyle calls

fingers crossed
i'm hoping after 8 years vegetarian this won't be too much of a challenge
but then again
no more chocolate

2010-08-07T20:22:00.000+01:00

i've become so obsessed with the idea

i've become so entwined in the idea

i've become so lost inside the idea

i've forgot what the idea ever was

2010-08-05T01:04:00.001+01:00

oh love what art thou that flows so swiftly through my veins

summoning those roses upon my freckled cheeks

ushering those clear waters into my blue innocent eyes

cascading down my face rolling softly into my lap

words...thoughts...feelings become numb

except for that awakening deep inside my soul

like a burst of fresh air in my lungs

a whole ocean inside of my heart

the glow of a night light tingling in every finger tip

love to beautiful a perfection for one body to bare

a disease, a parasite to my blood flow

the weed that crawls up beside me and swiftly pulls me down

weaking every muscle

leaving an empty carcass staring into the black

sorry forgot all photograph sources, they have all been stored up for so long and seemed to sum up everything so well

2010-08-03T23:26:00.000+01:00

beauty...what a confusing idea

2010-07-30T00:59:00.000+01:00

the epiphany at midnight

when the concealing darkness slips over all that breathes

the silence sets in, only the house dares to bare the slightest croak

as the subconscious sweeps throughout the body

drifting through the bloodstreams, bathing in every vessel

like the strike of a match in a blackened cave

or the fireflies trail against the night sky

it emerges behind those closed deep blue eyes

struggling against the compelling intoxication of the sleep

a lip quivers, heavy eyelids flutter, a hand lifts

but suddenly

like the last leaf of autumn

the mind falls

falls so far

was this the beginning of a nightmare

or the base of a fairytale dream

the never ending battle shall go on

1, 2

2010-07-27T20:30:00.000+01:00

i am unsure

its when your huddled on that bedroom floor

tears roll into the carpet underneath, leaving a dark stain of pity

hands clasped around cold knees begging for warmth

and freedom from this cruel ever expanding world

insignificance and loneliness sets into every pore

lingering upon every bodily hair

a sniffle from the nose calls out in the empty room

but no one will stir

a heart will not flutter

a breath will not halt

you are too small, living a life of too little significance

why bother...

i am unsure

whether to keep this blog up anymore

its insignificance

my insignificance

in this place

why bother...

2010-07-26T12:27:00.001+01:00

sorry about the absence

was living in london dreaming my life away

oh to look at life through the sepia camera lense

that tea stained fog cast across the faces and lanes

the suns bright light no longer peers menacing through the crack in the shutter

instead it throws a blanket of a dreamlike world across the room

sending us into a softer sleep

birds fly across that yellowing blue sky

reminding us of that well loved book upon the shelf of the library

2010-07-17T20:23:00.000+01:00

hope you all are having a wonderful, magical, fantastical weekend

i am having a lovely time catching up with old friends

drinking games galore

shall post again when the inspiration hits me from the dark corners of the night

like a butterfly caught in the swirls of the wind

but for now

"whatever you do in life will be insignificant. but it is very important that you do it anyway."

2010-07-16T00:03:00.000+01:00

why am i so happy

a grin keeps forming upon my little face

scrunching up the freckles upon either cheek

a soft high pitched laugh floats out of my mouth

unexpectedly at times

and i look at the world

through such dreamy eyes

i can't help it

but i am in love with whatever has changed inside this little old mind

2010-07-13T19:50:00.001+01:00

how would i live in a world where colour did not exist?

no longer could i stare longingly into your emerald green eyes,

which swirl like a peacock feathers flowing gently down stream

nor will that overwhelming admiration flow through my veins,

as i look up and see your nose tinged pink by the ice cold wind

and as we cycle together down the country lane,

that sunset will no longer give a bronzing glow to our skin

you will no longer laugh when i step out in my little red shoes

that remind you of a small childs

and as we fly upon the strong eagles back, will we look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

will we squeal with delight as we plunge through the ivory clouds and the royal blue sky

and when i fall asleep at the end of the day

will you gently stroke my hair watching the light bounce off and send golden ripples?

would it ever be the same again my love...

1, 2, 3, 4

2010-07-13T18:28:00.000+01:00

today i made scones

and ate them with a big cup of chai tea

isn't it wonderful how such small things can be so wonderful

i must thank darjeeling dreams for the inspiration

2010-07-12T21:59:00.000+01:00

i don't have much to say today

is that good..am i content with my life? is there no anger burning up inside?

or..

has life become simple? and there is no happiness building up inside?

only time will tell

for now

i leave this. whilst i wander bare legged through my dreams. may the morning bring more..

2010-07-11T20:52:00.000+01:00

dream away my dear, no need to open your eyes....

1, 2, 3

2010-07-10T10:49:00.000+01:00

have a magical weekend

whilst I

like an awoken fool

shall wipe away the cobwebs,

that misty thicket

across my eyes

its time

too long ago

these pools of blue ruled

throwing their judgement and corruption

onto this world

imprisoning broken hearts

and this ever longing soul

so it is time

crawl like a baby

out of this safe place

touch those thing that daren't be touched

watch fireflies float away through night

time to see life once again

time to feel a live again

1, 2, 3, 4

what a beauty we live in

2010-07-07T15:30:00.000+01:00

i love my bike

the click of the wheels as i roll freely down a hill

the hum of the tyres on the warm tarmac

the squeak of the brakes as i come to holt

the ding of the bell as i greet my friends

the wind singing in my ears

the smile that forms from cheek to cheek

clearing my head of all its troubles

2010-07-06T11:18:00.000+01:00

my safety

my net

my lifejacket

my hiding place

my dreamhouse

my tearcatcher

my creation

my life

my room

2010-07-05T14:12:00.000+01:00

monday morning birds sing so blissfully

puffing out their chests in pride to awake man from its slumber

but there huddled amongst the long grasses and the hunting mother dormouse

is the man with the broken heart

he lies there as still as the dead

fingers sunk deep into the dirt

staining his pearly bitten down nails

his golden hair grows with the grass seedlings

a weaved nest with the dandelions and speckled flowers

a man so broken

he is neither alive or dead

air still escapes him, yet none invites itself in

grey eyes still watch the skies

and with every great tradegy they fill with a pool of blue

dancing along his cheeks onto his bare chest

his last words being

only when this world forgets corruption, violence and hate

this mans soul shall live again

2010-07-05T11:25:00.001+01:00

2010-07-04T15:20:00.001+01:00

seeing life through a new perspective

like looking through a stained glass window

it is all oh so captivatingly beautiful

exaggerated romanticism

sending deep roseing reds across my face

but theres something sinister behind these new eyes

blinding me from the truth of life

blurring the reality

holding me a prisoner

inside the home of this

stained glass window

2010-07-01T12:36:00.000+01:00

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

i know it is ever so simple

but i felt obliged to showing my love for tea

theres something so soothing about pouring steaming hot water onto those tea leaves

to watch them lift up in the water and swirl around

like a sycamore seed in the wind

turning the once so plain water

into reflections of the night sky

or the sunrise upon the hillside

everything melts into love for 10 minutes

when your holding a cup of tea

2010-06-30T15:03:00.003+01:00

2010-06-30T13:09:00.000+01:00

1, 2, 3

been waiting
looking
dreaming
about you so long
i don't think i am able to believe any longer

2010-06-29T15:44:00.002+01:00

singing in my ears

lights in my eyes

love in my heart

dirt upon my skin

mud inbetween my toes

leaves entwined in my hair

happiness with every breath

just come back from one of the best times in my life

glastonbury

the most magical place on earth

2010-06-12T23:09:00.000+01:00

magic...
i think just about captures my time in the countryside last week

2010-06-06T22:24:00.000+01:00

sequins embedded into cracks of skin
hung loose in ringlets of tossled hair
tiny delusional mirrors of the world

look here in my hand
rose tinted love blossoms
your kisses in the red sunrise

or here upon my lap
life so grey and insignificant
waves crash upon our heads
crushing our souls

yet if you look here
deep into my eyes
a place you avoid
see the real mirror
not one of the circus hall
nor that which hangs upon your wall
this speaks of pain, passion and truth

xxx

2010-06-04T22:20:00.001+01:00

summer is fast approaching
my cheeks are tinged pink and arms freckled like speckled eggs
the pokadot shorts haunt me from there draw
but the floppy candifloss pink hat floats over and slomps upon my head
my new house in september is longing to be filled with my bits and bobs
new faces become old and the old new
mistakes have been made
but the heart hopes that with the summer sun and the imprints of grass upon our bodies
everything will be ....

magical

1,2

2010-05-29T14:17:00.001+01:00

oh devendra

i think i love you

roll on glastonbury

and my diana F+ camera came today yay

have a merry weekend my lovelies

2010-05-28T10:42:00.000+01:00

The heart

intrigued by

the itch,

the sensation

the goosebumps,

the butterflies

captured inside.

But:

like a mouse

tempting the lion,

threat glistens.

Disease rips through,

a fire,

destroying all,

extinguished only,

by the slow

Drop

of love shattering

tears.

The heart

crippled

the itch.

polli

2010-05-27T14:54:00.000+01:00

How sweet to be a cloud
Floating in the blue!
Every little cloud
Always sings aloud.

How sweet to be a cloud
Floating in the Blue!
It makes him very proud
To be a little cloud.

hardtoexplain

2010-05-24T12:23:00.000+01:00

littledoe

2010-05-22T22:34:00.002+01:00

i got lost
knowing was not quite not clear of where and how
both mind and soul flooded with thick black longing
dark as the night sky the snowowl searches

not sure whether it be the sun beaming down imprint freckles upon my skin
or a distant memory fighting through
but i ended up back here

sharing small beauties that make that big open world a kinder face

images

2010-02-26T11:09:00.001Z

wishing you all a wonderful weekend
went to see johnny flynn last night
and i think i died and went to heaven
was wonderful
although i wish there was room to have done a bit of dancing

2010-02-24T15:03:00.001Z

after the mini breakdown this morning due to the realisation that zilch is being done with my life
(literally zilch)

this all interweaved with me being on the doorstep of adulthood

its not been the best day so far
advice from mum and dad who make everything seem so simple
was to pick myself off my feet and reach for those opportunities out there

sorry to be pesimistic
but opportunities?!
where and what now

if such things existed i would not be sat on my bum all day with my nose tucked in a book or newspaper, this all depending upon the headlines and if i have my sensible or daydream head on

so here i am half a day later
no further in life
just a learn french by cd in the post

oh dear

2010-02-23T13:36:00.001Z

been in the lovely cambridge all weekend

absolutely breathtakingly beautiful

flowing between the castles of stone and gold

green grass glowing in the afternoon sun

as the fresh dew is formed

was a lovely little break away from home

2010-02-17T12:14:00.000Z

its a horrible grey morning well lunchtime here

cold and i'm snuggled up in a big fluffy cardigan
i think i'm being far too optimistic when i look out of the window first thing
expecting white birds flying round in pairs against the backdrop of the blue sky
the sun beaming down toasting my nose as it peers through the curtains
and people walking in sunhats with icecream dripping down their summer dresses
oh well...

oh i would be very grateful if you had some spare pennies and could sponsor me for sports relief and achieve your one good thing for today

sponsor me pretty please

much love xoxo

2010-02-16T16:43:00.000Z

happy pancake day to one and all

i hope you enjoy your sugary treats
whether it be with chocolate spread creeping through the cracks and on to your greedy fingers
or cleaning your plate with the last bit of pancake to gather the last sprinkles of sugar that has fallen onto the abyss of your plate
and i even spread my love to you savoury traitors

i am unsure what tantalizing flavours i will treat myself to this evening
i shall mull it over whilst my jog in the crisp february evening with the pink stained evening sky
as i dream of pancakes and future times in paris

2010-02-14T15:13:00.000Z

happy valentines day to all you lovelies
clearly treated myself by a disgusting run, followed by a pilates class
sickening!
but i'm doing as much training as possible as come may i'm doing a run for
marie curie
muchos love to all of you out there
i shall get back to writing
but right now i think i will lie on my sofa and watch the winter olympics
feeling sorry for my poor legs

picture

2010-02-12T13:16:00.000Z

i am so sorry i don't know what happened
but i just stopped.
christmas took its hold of me and everything was so busy and too hectic
then i decieded i needed a reinvention of my routine
and unfortunately my blog had to be left aside for some time
but now my head is back to where i want
and all is wonderful
magical
and beautiful
as it once was and should be

i'm off to europe in a month

nothing can describe the tingling of excitement inside of me

i hope you are all well

many loves, hugs and kisses helena

2010-01-05T22:34:00.000Z

open up my innocent blues when the cuckoo rustles in his frozen nest
with the sun streaming in through the split in the blinds, the dust dances in its spotlight
something of the mystical and magic catches the attention of my newborn eyes

down, down it floats outside my frosted window
white snow flakes elegantly fall in shapes undescribable in our simple language

i made a snowman today

i hope he doesn't melt over night

i'm also doing some stressful accomodation hunting for next year

not nice :(

someone please whisk me away to a magical land

happy 2010 aswell to all of you lovelies

xxxx

2009-12-23T18:47:00.000Z

the smell of chocolate rising from the kitchen
splattered all over the walls and floor
i love christmas
and its my birthday tomorrow yay
i'm not sure what my plans are yet but maybe a little snowball fight with the creation of snow angels
then a relaxing drink in the cosy pub with some friends
before we tuck ourselves up in bed and wait for santas visit

many christmas wishes to you all!!

2009-12-19T15:56:00.003Z

been terribly busy sorry haven't blogged

catching up with friends over cups and tea and cake, red wine and dark chocolate

feeling very festive and loving

haven't finished this yet but this is my next attempt of illustrating my writing

many christmas wishes to you all

much snow angel love

2009-12-14T19:28:00.002Z

i am no artist, nor have any skills with the flick of a pen

but i've decieded to make some of my writings into a collection

and as i have no illustrator i decieded to give it a whirl myself

this is my first attempt

my skanner messed up some colours and details

but hey ho

2009-12-13T17:46:00.002Z

its crawling up inside of me

like ice freezing that last drop of dew on the long sleek grass

it closes up every hopeful loving organ

that exists in myself

everything becomes tinted with a darkened mist

that slowly drapes itself around my every ora

my eyes glaze with an everlasting tear

whilst the birds around flutter back to safety

i'm starting to regret

oh regret

all i can do is regret

is loneliness the only answer now?

2009-12-11T20:01:00.006Z

down down down they float
white drops from heaven
so elegant as they fall to the earth
sprinkling beauty evenly over life

2009-12-10T10:30:00.011Z

cold icy cheeks tinged the pink of the setting sun
our knitted fingers entwined
snowflakes delicately fall upon our tranquil eyelashes
as we watch those red robins hop excitedly around our snow slushed boots
leaving small black imprints in the glittering ice around
the sweet smell of gingerbreads and pine needles escape from the illuminated doorway
the warm glow of the crackling firewood sending a moving flicker of yellow light to warm the heart of the woods surrounding

let us wander in and warm our holey socks whilst we gaze into each others twinkling eyes

getting into the christmas spirit since i've been back
spent most of my days curled up in bed watching films or wrapped up in the kitchen baking christmas treats for everyone
my entertainment for this afternoon are a batch of warm gingerbread cakes
they look delightful
all pictures were found on weheartit
many winter wishes to all of my readers

2009-12-08T21:31:00.003Z

there is goes
a flitter of silver against the dark
the graceful dance of the firebird amongst the ever growing pine tree
cold shaking hands reach out
blinded fingers left to grope the empty space
but
hope is just a flicker in the black of the hopeful night

save yourself
save them

2009-12-01T10:18:00.011Z

please my dearest of the red skies remember
that soul of yours is as free as it chooses
do not let the evils invade you with the slightest breath
nor the hesitant flicker of an eye lid

keep your prettiest blues fixed upon those who dance amongst the tall green grasses
their light feet like lovers to the warm moist ground beneath
golden hair entangles with the glittering flowers of freedom
whilst white dresses of innocence catch the rays of the last burning sun
glowing like the fire flies of the deepest night

please my darling remember a soul is as free as you wish
no man, nor spirit may take that
only yourself can destroy those fire flies in the deepest night

sorry haven't written i so long
i have returned home yesterday
and weeped
weeped
and weeped
and then laughed and realised i need to get on with my life
every second is mine

2009-11-19T06:20:00.001Z

help

its almost time for me to leave

how will i survive

back there...
gulp

2009-11-11T06:52:00.003Z

why take the path

when you can take the stream

walking from rock to rock

clear water running around your feet

laughter fills the air

infiltrating your ears

spinning butterflies dance into your heart

smiles reflect the white burning sun

all you can feel is a deep blushing happiness

so i ask you again

why take the path

when you can take the stream?

2009-10-29T07:30:00.002Z

picture from New Zealand i managed to borrow a USB cord..yay

when your eyes fix upon the only stationary object in the room
they glaze over with layers of salty tears
you daren't blink and reveal your deepest darkest secrets to the worlds that surround
you want so badly to avoid all those cliches that exist as the sun slwly burns red
but your crumbling heart reuses
it shall not continue on as you will

the beautiful spotted night sky will not intise it
the heaven reflecting lake waters will not make you catch your last breath
nothing will be the cure for this pain
the pain of this empty vessel
empty of those you loved
still love
will love
forever...

2009-10-16T02:54:00.006+01:00

white smoke floats upwards towards those glittering heavens
like an extinguished dragon's roar it stretches, transforming as it ages
telling the stories of the old and the young
passing along the ritual to whom ever shall ponder the lands

as it floats through the burning skies it remains dignified and honest
as it swims through the grasshoppers midnight song
the sweet melody wraps itself around the fragmented vapours
tinting the white smoke with the tinge of the deepest melancholy

through the valleys of the swaying pine trees it infuses into each needle
flying in the shadows of the golden eagle
swirling at her feet like the hope of a walking companion
over the great seas and oceans

until that little lost soul disappears
before all the great watchers
no longer does it need to shift from shape to shape
nor place to place

it has meaning
a want
a desire
a love

2009-10-15T03:51:00.006+01:00

i think i am in love
so so far
so so deep
seriously
in love

with this place...

i don't think words can express the things i've seen, people i've met and places i've walked
unfortunately ive forgot my usb cable aswell so no photographs till i return home in two months

i just think ive found it
what ive been looking for
like a character in one of those crumbeling novels...

many thanks to all you , for your patience with my posts whilst i'm out here, its hard to write when sitting in a crummy internet cafe/warehouse

2009-10-10T00:33:00.007+01:00

raindrops fall down my window pane

glistening in the blue tinted moonlight

they mark the edge of two worlds

a barrier

a defender or a prison guard?

neither man nor soul can know

the raindrop leaves behind it a trail through the snowy mist

like a jet stream in the blue summer sky

or the sweat that slowly rolls off a farmers face

when the white sun casts its smallest shadow

the pollen dances round together

leaving our eyes tired and dizzy

i belong in the world that never allows a goosebump upon skin
or the flutter in a beating heart

the warm air never swirls against a cheek or blows through silken riglets
it just loosely hangs, stagnant

here eyelashes do not fall
birthday candles are not blown
wishes are not needed

yet

there is a longing
deep deep inside of me
it murmurs ever so slightly
when my eyes fall upon those pretty raindrops

i want that sharp ice cold wind

to make my cheeks flush like apple blossom in spring

i want moths in my fickle little heart

i want goosebumps to prickle on my pale skin

i need the other side of the fall of the raindrop

all from weheartit

New Zealand is great

Work is hard

I'm tired

Blogging is harder than i thought

Sorry

I'm waiting to get better internet access

2009-10-02T21:29:00.002+01:00

Arrived in Auckland, New Zealand about 3 hours ago

Jet Lag is killing me

it should be night but its morning

will send more interesting posts...well i hope in the near future

my head a bit foggy right now

2009-09-30T11:12:00.004+01:00

i go tomorrow
spiders are spinning cold knotted webs in my stomach, green clumsy frogs are jumping in my throat, glistening lakes are flowing out of my skin

29 hour flight

gulp

2009-09-28T20:36:00.009+01:00

she walks up the dusty trodden road
the orange mist clings to the stiches of her clothes and the pores of her skin
sunflowers seeds dance up in the warm breeze and fall to her feet
as the petals wave their goodbyes
her bag settles into her shoulders as her stone cold eyes gaze ahead
ears hear her name leap from his mouth as tears flood from his eyes
but she walks further
until the dust swallows her up
and their crossing paths have inevitabily become

separate.

freedom?
sorry haven't posted much, been shopping and packing
only a few days left in england

1 & 2 & 3

2009-09-22T12:20:00.016+01:00

it is nearly time to turn my back on that which i know and love

step into those inky black smudged words that lie before me on their yellowing crumbling page

the veil of water gracefully glides down the flushed surface of my cheek

the inner butterflies shall be released into the cold crisp air and fly on in there mystical lines of colour

this is my adventure, my time, my mark

i have only butterflies to guide my soul

2009-09-20T19:34:00.012+01:00

everyone's gone flown the nest
its oh so cold with out them
my cheeks are soaken with frozen salty tears
my heart feels empty with no reason to keep up this hum of life

but wait...
what is that upon the red streaken horizon
a man stands tall upon his horse
his face smiles and hand beckons me nearer
i pick myself from the thorny twigs and walk closer

his cool breath upon my neck
like sweet tulips on a spring morning
my harsh boned hand slips into his and fits like two pieces of a soul
off we gallop into the night

i'd been saved...

shame dreams aren't reality

friends have left

and there is no prince to save me

1. weheartit
2. ffffound
3. weheartit
4. weheartit
5. weheartit

2009-09-18T22:47:00.001+01:00

senselessactsofbeauty

oh...i forgot

have a lovely weekend
doing whatever you do

2009-09-18T11:57:00.007+01:00

i can hear it now that sweet sweet melody playing over and over
bring with it tears of childhood memories
with lollipops and sherbet drops
my hands clutch onto the worn brown leather
my blue pooled eyes float over the dreamlike swirl of colours
the horse guides me round and round into a sea of whimsical joys
just release my inner child

it'll happen
it exists
its not an illusion
just wait
and it'll come

1. weheartit
2. weheartit
3. weheartit

2009-09-16T16:40:00.010+01:00

hold my hand dear
feel our pulses collide
and then softly unite in sound
lets run with the sand between our toes and the wind in our faces
let your laugh send tears to my eyes and warmth to my ears
lets just stand
but please
hold my hand dear

1. ffffound

2. ffffound
3. ffffound (so sorry lost the exact link)
4. ffffound

i'm quite jolly today
its one of those days where the sun shines down on your bed and you bounce on out with a smile framing your face
didn't really do much productive happy activity just did those tasks around the house that would normally send shivers to my core

i've been thinking about sending a scrapbook around the world to different people
would it be possible?
to connect as many different walks of life
a collection of beauties, views, opinions
and a mix of people so diverse, so different but brought together in one book
i think i'll just mull it over
my optimistic mood may wear off

2009-09-15T14:12:00.007+01:00

have you ever just surrendered yourself?

just stopped
lay down
your face to the starred sky
let the wind roll over you
the faint music hum in your ears
breathing with the movement of the grass and trees
feeling content with life
and just to forget
it all

if not..

go and do it
go and get lost
lost in a book
lost in nature
lost in music
lost in life
just for one moment...let go

1. ffffound
2. ffffound

Thank you so much to Katherine of Paper Pocket an absolutely adorable blog which makes me smile upon every visit

2009-09-14T15:09:00.010+01:00

My feet edge across the hot wet earth, dragging themselves over twigs and dirt.
This path is welcoming...it wants to feel my weight plant itself rhymically along its dry worn trail.
Green thin spindelled leaves carress my body and leave my heart longing for more as i wander deeper and deeper into the wooded surroundings.
The smell of pine becomes intoxicating to my lungs leaving an indefinable thirst for the unknown.
The transcendant sun pounds through the leaves, i close my heavy mystified eyes and slowly turn round like a free dancer.
The smells crawl up my noise and the heat prickles my skin leaving the hairs stood in attention.
However, as my sleepy eyelids lift to discover more, they widen to the shock that this no longer is the welcoming home i had searched for...

i was lost..

1. FFFFOUND
2. FFFFOUND
3. FFFFOUND
4. FFFFOUND

Broken my cheek bone...only something i would be able to do just before i'm due to go away, so i'm sat in bed feel queazy and faint. I must admit i'm not one for taking pain. Now i also have the stress of trying to find ideas for an all white costume for a party before i go away.
I'm also going to take this time to show my appreciation for everyone who reads my posts or just drifts past from time to time. I enjoy reading and replying to your comments and love reading your insightful blogs which make me laugh, cry and gasp haha.

2009-09-09T20:00:00.004+01:00

home? or adventure?

the options the options...

3 weeks in counting that i'm off on a 29 hour flight to the land called New Zealand
my stomach keeps flipping from excitement to absolute nerves
the worry is about making friends...its hard when your just an observer in this big big world
i never tend to take part until now

i'm not sure what to read book to read next
instead of writers block i'm having a readers block..
any suggestions? it can be of any genre
just anything that will allow me to see another world, side of life, another me...

1. ?
2. Daydream Lily

2009-09-08T22:12:00.006+01:00

the wind is blowing through my every body cell, the sun dances off my every hair and the air sings its sweet lullabys through my ears...

then i'm trudging though dark murky waters, my feet slowly sinking further down in the mud that i can no longer move anywhere but down...further down

i'm sorry i'm not blogging right now i can't seem to grasp hold of anything for long enough to pin it down

its destroying me

1. Le love
2. ?
3. ?
4. A glamorous little side project

2009-09-03T12:38:00.010+01:00

ever wanted something magical to happen to you?

as a child i know i used to dream of little fairys flying me away to a magical forest
but now i see magic through different eyes...

something that breaks the ordinary, breaks the routine, gives you a new path to tred
this magic gives you a reason to live for...

no longer do you slump in the shadows of those around you or melt to the routine that starts with your morning coffee and ends with the flick of the bedside lamp, only to be continued when the sun awakes again

suddenly you realise your purpose isn't to hide amongst all those you hate
but to live amongst the adrenalin rush, the joys and the beautiful

1,2,3. A glamorous little side project

2009-09-02T12:39:00.011+01:00

1. Senseless acts of beauty
2. Design Lovely
3. Senseless acts of beauty
4. FFFFOUND
5. FFFFOUND
6. ?
7. FFFFOUND

..this is my response to the man who appologized to me the other night for me having red hair
clearly i was not happy with him

New Zealand is nearer and nearer everyday, flights booked for the 1st
and i can escape this boring and tedious land

2009-09-01T19:58:00.015+01:00

i must confess i have given in...and i'm reading the twilight saga
its only been two days and i'm well into book 3
its like an addiction, i can't sleep due to my cravings for more
but like many i've found myself absorbed in the romance that could only exist in fiction

my head has become misty with dreams about the one who shall never exist...

he touches my hand softly to show his appreciation even for those many geeky tendancies i try to hide

he plays me music as the sun beams down from the sky through the window or when the sun has gone to sleep there are a few words written next to my pillow in a smooth inky flow

he looks into my eyes and gazes so deep and so intensely it could last for eternity

when his warm heavy arms drape around my small fragile body, i feel truly safe as a smile stretches across my face

we lie underneath the stars with the grass tickeling our feet, accompanied by gentle whispers soothing my ears

i will pray he will arrive one day
but the universe understands that that day shall never come
....not for me anyway

i shall keeping fishing for the fish that shall never bite

1, 2. le love
3. ffffound
4. ffffound
5. ffffound
6. ffffound

2009-08-30T21:09:00.007+01:00

all the senses of the soul intensify and burn inside of this simple body
my heart beats fast inside my ribs becoming a quiver, a blur...or has it just stopped
blue rippled eyes flicker under their watery veil
and copper ringlets fan themselves across the inky page in front but no hand stirs to pin them back into place
both cold hands remain caressing the velvety sleeve of the satisfyingly heavy book
a butterfly flutters across the pale cream window blind casting a shadow across the room but no life ceases to exist
no life except the occassional wipe of the soft hand against the worn pages

the air floats down until it comfortably forms a warm cloak around my body
in the distance there is the creak of the crickets in the long damp grass and the deep hum of a cello from a far away house
but mind and body are absent
pineing for more of the soothing words of those before me...

oh how delightful it is to get lost in a story that isn't your own
it is a love i wish to embrace forever

oh so sorry once again i found all these pictures before i had my brief trip to the country
and now i'm back i can't remember where i found them...

2009-08-20T13:28:00.003+01:00

where are the tears upon my cheek?
where is the hair wrapped up in my fist?

no where...

as today is a happy happy day for me
the rain stopped
the clouds parted and the sun shone

and i did well in exams and i'm off to university
well after my gap year...

thank you to whatever was watching over me

2009-08-19T15:56:00.006+01:00

my little legs are shaking in my boots
my hands are quivering over the key board
my teeth are chatting in my mouth
my heart is fluttering in it cage

exam results tomorrow....

gulp...

1. daydream lily

2009-08-18T17:53:00.005+01:00

how does she do it?
one pale shimmering shoulder catches the drifters eyesher eyes gaze upwards and he looks away in suprise
but his soul has become captured by her soft feminine heart and can not resist
they are linked together, moulded as one, one heart, one body, one soul, one breathwas this an act of fate
or just love

why wasn't it me?

2009-08-17T21:15:00.007+01:00

the twisted vines dripped with drops of thick warm water
dark green splashes against the deep grained wood
the curled petals of a bloomed flower the amber orange highlighted by the suppressing sunshine
one drop escapes gliding through the air
glowing the colours of the rainbow blue, pink, yellow
slowly it sweeps down then as faint as a feather falling off a birds wing
...
it hits the thick mossy ground
the ground darkens and then with the power of the sun all evidence is removed of the little water droplet...

sorting out all my things for new zealand is getting exciting
but i really really really need to sort out my overdraft
otherwise i'm running into a wall

1. ?
2. Senseless acts of beauty

2009-08-16T19:51:00.004+01:00

i am back to the land of routines and regularities
feeling pretty zombyish after the travelling so i must apologize for the sluggishness of this post
culture feels as though it has been sapped away from me
all the inspiration at home has been soaked up and i question whether i should call it home anymore
a change is needed
i'm going to miss having a morning coffee on the corner of a dusty street with the sun beating down onto my book pages
listening to drunken trumpets and violins playing a song outside a bar in the warm wet heat of the night

somewhere you truely belong
that isn't home
is that possible?

what am i going to do...

1. beautiful blog of milk
2. i must confess not mine and i have no idea where from
3. my own shakey camera skills

2009-07-31T20:09:00.005+01:00

so so sorry i have been losing myself in beautiful budapest
back for today
and off again tomorrow to expore more of europes surface
travelling really is a true beauty
although i managed to forget my notebook so no writing could commence
i reflected upon the hole that was dug for me before i went
and filled it up and walked on
i'm hoping to do more writing when i set off again
the world really does seem a lot more accessable to me
its wonderful
my thoughts are much less foggy and i can see clearly where happiness seems to lie

i don't need to be on the desperate search for love
but its here around me
in all the nooks and crannys of my life
its part of us all
and i love it

no need to be the princess of the fairytale any longer...

1. & 2. my own photographs

2009-07-17T13:10:00.007+01:00

his eyes wandered upon his surroundings
up the bare stone walls
across the shelves full of books riddled with lovers pasts
his heart felt cold, empty, worthless
a chill grew up his spine like a snake slowly smothering its prey
what could this world offer to him? would this be it forever? a drifter in this place of dreams?

but then...
across the cold grey stone a warm yellow glow flooded in filling the room with the smell of roses and sweet fruits he looked to the corner where the door stood, and there she was her long hair lifted by the breeze from behind, and her the skirts of her dress danced in the sunlight
their deep blue eyes met....

there is hope for all...

1 & 2 - Le love

2009-07-16T19:15:00.004+01:00

it may be green and dark and pouring with rain outside
but in here...where it matters
near to my heart
i feel the depths of the summer

the red dusted earth
absorbing the white heat from the high risen sun
cats, people, birds all in peace with one another
spread out against the hot ground
savering the last drop of water

1 & 2 - slumdog millionaire

2009-07-14T10:07:00.003+01:00

this lack of motivation kills me
there is nothing to do but to sit, stare and eat

sorry about the lack of inspiration to post much good this week
i'm trying my best to climb out of this hole

2009-07-10T14:22:00.007+01:00

hypnotised by the turning spokes
the soft hum of the rubber on the tarmac
in the far distance the squeak of the brakes as a walker crosses the path
the sunlight bouncing off the newly polished bell
the wicker basket piled high with freshly baked goods and warm fuzzy blankets

yet in all their beauty your heartbreaks when they go against you and throw you down onto the cold earth reject you from their soft leather seat
to sit in tears, an outcast to the simple pleasures in life

1 ?
2 OR_U

2009-07-09T20:11:00.002+01:00

i am lost in the mist of money problems....

i'm ment to be exploring new zealand in september
helping the environment and endangered animals

until

now...

its all over my head and i feel like there is no escape
like a mist of frustration slowly forming around me
the escape route is becoming smaller and smaller

2009-07-05T16:24:00.006+01:00

missing someone..possibly the hardest thing i've ever done
you could be smiling and laughing and having the most fun
and then it hits you like a rock that there not there
the absence creates a false sense about everything you do
nothing seems real without them

at least one day a sense of truth will be restored...somehow

2009-07-03T11:52:00.005+01:00

her dark eyes looked up to the stained pink heavens above...
down it rolled over the soft freckled skin and up onto her toe capped leather shoes, this single tear seemed so slight so small...yet the significance this sparkled warm droplet had was and still is inconceivable to all
this marked the change
a change for all
marked by one movement of water, like a ripple in a stagnant lake

2009-07-02T12:49:00.010+01:00

i want to travel the ups and downs of this world
the nooks and crannies the smiles and tears
i want to see it all
why should i remain in this little box of same old same olds
instead of the dusty rich orange deserts, the wide glittering rivers and the dark green interconnected leaves
i want to lose myself to it all
but as my mother said when i was a little girl... i want never gets....

i want...
i wan..i wa..

i w..
i...

at least i have my dreams...

2009-06-30T11:51:00.016+01:00

today just do something so small
something so small but with such significance
it may have a change greater than all
perhaps just a allow yourself a senseless act of beauty....

p.s i think i now understand the Olsen's coffee/smoking lifestyle i'm jittering around the place with my head in the clouds well the imaginary clouds...its wonderful but so so wrong

have a lovely lovely day wherever your mind may be

1 - because i'm addicted
2 - le love
3 - loxlie
4 - senseless acts of beauty
5 - unsure sorry
6 - influence

2009-06-24T10:39:00.005+01:00

interweave those roses into my hair that rests amongst the grass holding up my head to see your clouded eyes...

curl up our toes in the heated white sand that has moulded our shapes together...

keep on running and feel that crunch of the leaves under your bare feet using your senses to follow my presence...

its all just waiting..waiting...

just wake up

2009-06-24T09:55:00.004+01:00

Erimentha from the lovely little blog of happiness has tagged me..thank you very much
the link for me does not work as the sunny weather of britain has created an unequal balance and everything has gone haywire including the link... cassie's therapy
but i think i have gathered the jist

The task: fill in 12 likes, 1 love and 8 hates like Cassie in her therapy video. Below, the bolded things are what you MUST include.

Abracadabra, Wow!
I like boys that doodle on their knees and girls with painted faces
I like running through the trees
I like swaying through the sea
I like people who dance on each others toes
I like watching people who are secretly watching me
I like riding my bike with the wind blowing through my clothes
I like reading classic romances and loosing myself in the plot
I like funny laughs that make everyone smile
I like wearing my leggings that revert me back the the age of four
I like staring at the sky and the birds that fly in formation
I love the snow capped mountains, the emerald grass and the yellow sun
Today I saw an old couple dance on each others toes and smiled
In some ways, I love everything. Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular I like things that I like but I love everything There’s more choice in like Cos even the worst things have things you love in them I don’t know what you mean about things I hate
I hate the routine we let ourselves fall into
I hate smiling when i should be crying
I hate crying when i should be smiling
I hate the word should..
I hate the word hate
I hate it that noone writes letter to one another anymore but in a way i don't no if i have the patience for letters
I hate the idea there is no true escape ever
I hate those who do not embrace one another for their differences and allow them to make them a whole person
I hate this, wow... Sorry

thank you..however, in this lovely blog world i have noone too pass it on too
i am just an admirer in this big big world

2009-06-20T11:41:00.010+01:00

the chains have been lifted, wings unclipped, the world is finally my oyster
where is the start....

1. laying amongst ruffled bed sheets and face imprinted pillows in the late morning gazing out of the window with the sun streaming in with no need to move

2. expressing all those feelings for every being to embrace

3. hitting the dusty road with the tattered map showing a vague way to go but the sun shall be the guide

4. lets just sit and stare no one asks anymore of us

5. loose yourself to the dusty books of time in the corner of this capsule of time

6. just enjoy being this, this everything, this free, this person, this life, this happy...just this

thank you...